关于“我”

今天一起身，顿时感觉我的生活失去了方向，发现我都浑浑噩噩地度过每一天。这种感觉越来越强烈，自从我辞了这份戏院的工。

我辞了这份工主要的原因是因为做得很累，但薪水却那么一丁点儿，好像连吃都不够，最主要的原因是因为他们的系统很不稳定，随时都会换，所以造成很多活动都不能参加。如果是你的话，你会不会做这份工呢？

我知道中五毕业生刚出来是没有资格去要求找到一份很好的工，但最起码都要薪水够用，过得去自己嘛。回想起来从这一次的经验我学了不少东西，学会了工作里面的东西，也学了工作里的人际关系，更学会了要争取自己应该要的东西。

在做这份工的期间，我也喜欢上一个人。虽然我最终还是得不到她，但她让我发现原来我是多么的纳闷，没情趣。在爱情里，我还算是婴儿，很幼稚。我很谢谢她给我这个机会让我了解我自己，让我知道原来我还没本事拥有一个恋人，继续努力吧！

现在我开始担心我的前途了，四个字来形容“前途茫茫”。转眼之间我们的成绩就要出来了，看到我朋友的STPM成绩那么优越，开始有点后悔自己没有好好念书，希望我的成绩能好看一点。还好我还有机会，现在应该快点定下一个目标，我想我应该是有这个能力去达成的。

我有一个不知算不算只能是个梦想的志愿，就是读到PHD，做research的。似乎好像离我现在的成绩差得好像天与地。所以我想只能是个梦想罢了。我可能会读engineering，比较实际，也比较有出路，但我好像不是很有兴趣在这方面。没办法啊，要生活就得这样。问题是我不知连engineering都能不能读的上。

不知哪来的灵感，让我写了这么多东西，还是第一次咧，哈哈。其实我很感谢上苍给了我那么多东西，如果不好好利用，就浪费了，我每次做东西不成功原因是我没信心，和没恒心，还有太急进，所以要从这里好好修练。我没本事要改变整个人生，但我有权选择我要过的生活，我要对自己负起100%责任，放开自己，接受然后改变成自己想要的人生。谢谢您。

一块玉石为什么要努力地学习当一块石头呢？

一块玉石为什么要努力地学习当一块石头呢？

在玉石还未被发掘时是没有用处的，但当看到石头被人用时，自己却想要像石头一样被人用。

石头是很多，容易被发现， 但玉石却寥寥无几，是很珍贵的东西，不是所有人都能用，所以玉石以为自己没有用。是不是觉得玉石很傻？为何不去学习做玉石,学会等待别人发掘再不然就自己发掘然后让自己发光发亮。

Wake up pls!

Today feel very moody..actually i very easy to moody wan.Really wan to scold myself,why so care about people's comment,people just say something bad about me then i will very down whole day...

Many things i wan scold myself.First,always comment people this not good that not nice,but when people comment me and i cannot accept so useless.Second,everytime think like myself very cool,very smart,but actually is very stupid and ordinary.

Except that,i still very straight forward until step people's tail also donno...always think that i am the greatest wan...pui...you always think that you very extraordinary?always think that every people like you? o0o pls go slp and think carefully,wat you worth for people?go watch the mirror see who are you?don come out here to throw the face...

If you want to become a people.pls learn more and don gao gao...and don talk too much but do more...Why you are so xiao qi...Pls la,be more mature...ok?

A year pass by...

Just listening new year song and got the new year feeling,that mean one year pass again.Living in this earth about 17years,wat have i do?have i contribute to anyone or to this world?

Are we live in this world just for ourself?i feel very useless cause i have do nth but just always do wrong,wasting the time in online,slacking,playing.But even i try study more and more to gain more knowledge but still not statifaction.

I know i am too greed and impatient,for my standard,atcually i do well but when compare to people i always use people standard to campare myself and finally i will very down.

This will happen because i no confident,thats why i always need to campare with people to gain affirmation from other people.But i donno how to gain the confident,i even doubt myself.

I hope can stable myself while the time and age pass by.And i try to hold my aim to contribute to this world so not waste my life in this turn of life.

错觉？

那种感觉又在来了，可能是我一直以来都没有突破这一关，所以一直的重复着。每次刚开始时都对那人没有兴趣。但她好像故意要让我喜欢她，然后当我对她开始有感觉时不是发现她对我没有东西或是跟别人比较要好，难道这是我的错觉？所以每次我要就是放弃，要就是假装不在乎。我不明白为什么有些人可以那么乐观看待这些事，但我不能，我太不成熟了。可能人家对我没有感觉，只是我自作多情罢了，人家对我好一点就误会人家喜欢我。虽然我觉得我有一定的条件，但不是很多人喜欢我，因为我选择跟别人走不同的路，很难让人接受。我现在要做的东西就是不管是美还是不美，对我好还是不好，我都当她是我朋友，不然只会让我自寻烦恼。我觉得自己很自私，从头到尾只是我，我，我，从来没想过别人是怎样的感受，所以没有人会真正去听我说什么，需要检讨一下。。。

原来。。。

好久没有进来这里了，现在虽然很累，但我还是要试试看全能说的有没有效。最近我才发现我能有我自己的感觉，但接着下来的却是发现了很多自己的短处，不知是好还是坏。好是因为我觉得我是正常的，不好是因为我原来不能承受很多东西比我想象还要差。我不知是不是因为我害怕别人怎样看我。好，我承认我非常在意别人怎样看我。。。怕到连这没人看的部落格也不敢写。我很恨自己为什么自己常常没事找事做，没事找事想，对不起请原谅我。我现在认为我是因为放不下很多东西，结果才会自寻烦恼，比如我放不下自己物理上的东西，我想要赚多一点钱然后享受，但是又不能承受压力，一直在那边发牢骚。。当我允许我自己有情绪，有能力抗拒不满，不爽还是累。才发现原来我是那么的脆弱和无助。到底我是不是正常的。我真希望我是正常的，但又不要跟普通人一样，但我越要不一样，我就越普通，有时甚至连普通人有的东西我都没有。。。我还有很多东西写但现在不由得我继续，明天又要赶来赶去，不知几时才能不用把所有时间放在赚钱。。。忘了这些吧，明天还有新的东西学。希望我的这些烦恼能在这里消失。。。

My symphony band's life

Is me again,my English is improved a little,so i think i like to use English to write.I have joined the school symphony band about seven month already,it was many activity especially in holiday,i have choose the percussion and i was very enjoyed every training,however the more closer the event or competition for those senior,the less activity of our junior class,this is because the school was no continue hire a coach with a reason "the coach do nth in the activity".But they don't know that the coach is important to us(junior),our standard is dropped gradually.Yes,there already got two teacher to teach us,but they are more concentrate in senior.Normally we got three classes,symphony,jazz,and our junior class,the two teacher teach symphony and jazz band,and the coach teach the junior.But now left the two teacher...so that they no time to train us.So how could we improve?one day the coach no come back,we will not improve.But fortunately i have know many new friend in the band,they are very kind,but the other(mostly) i don't know why they are so self-esteem and i no join with them.I have think(just think only) that i would like to join the school choir if the situation still no change,because i also like to sing,and also i can see...her...hehe